4 February 2019

#2 The Monday Letter.

I think I'm a creature of habit without discipline LOL!
no, I'm serious. I've always said I wanted to be in the army so I could have a tough man/woman yell at me until my behaviour became patterned and disciplined or how I wish I had a manager to help me manage my existence lmao! 
Come-on, You can't tell me its just me. 
I'll have ten things to do and they'll all overwhelm me before I begin. 
Being so ambitious is hard on the days that you don't have the mental capacity.

We're on the second letter of the year, which should quite frankly be the third but I cant come and kill myself. I'm not even judging myself any more, I promised myself I'd be real and raw. I've been an optimistic person my whole life, even during the storms i'm smiling and hoping for the best. Faithing it til I make it as I like to call it. But I'm starting to realise I'm meant to be faithing it while I make it, "It" being life.  

I'm slowly learning how to unattached my desires, goals and visions to my age and just work towards serving others with my passions as thats where my purposes lays. Putting an age on my aspirations has hurt me a lot and I'm the only one who can change the frequency I operate on understanding that emotions are energy. Energy has to move, stuck emotions cause stress, which is the emotions asking you to meet yourself half way, know the why so they can make their way along. I've done a lot of learning and unlearning. One thing I've learnt is to be intentional about my desires and work towards them with a plan but not an age limit. We live in a day and age where everything is online and everything is infront of us, EVERYTHING. So we start to compete or compare where we really shouldn't. Creating a false illusion of our failure in our minds.

Sometimes the only thing wrong with you is the belief that something is wrong with you. I stopped suppressing my feelings and listening to people tell me "Its not that deep" when I began to understand that my healing journey began when I allowed myself to feel freely no matter how messy. Don't ever be afraid to be "too" anything because of what others say, wether thats "too emotional" , "too vulnerable" , "too sensitive", "too caring" , "too open" or even "too honest", you're enough for the very people meant to journey with you and you'll help them grow out of their self suppression by standing strong in your freedom. You'll meet people who will believe the things you worried about are actually the greatest things about you. 

You may not see it today but one day you'll look back and be in awe by how every little thing added up and brought you somewhere incredible. Make do with what you have, inspire where you are and blossom where you're planted.  Beyond where you envisioned yourself being and you'll be so grateful things didn't workout the way you wanted them to, exactly when you wanted them to. Forgive yourself for taking routes that were never meant for you and accepting less than you deserved and  intentionally love yourself. You need to start thinking like you're blessed, talking like you're blessed and acting like you're blessed. Thats how your blessings get activated. Taking care of yourself genuinely requires work and the ability to balance all aspects of your life in a manner that serves you best.

I say this to myself as much as I do to all of you. Practice intentional self care, 
make self love your ritual. A daily ritual is a commitment. It is a promise to both yourself and your work. It is a way of honouring what you do, a way of saying, “I value myself, my purpose is important to me.”

From this heart to yours, I love YOU!

Lydia Gratis