11 March 2019

#5 The Monday Letter

Dear You,

Yes, You. 
That woman underneath the myriad disguises you wear for all the people in your life; 
those you care for, those who rely on you, those that think they know you. 
That woman who might live life differently, if only…

I’ve noticed you pause in the space between breaths. 
I’ve caught that wistful look in your eye.
 I’ve sensed your yearning for more… 
homesickness for a home you’ve never lived in, 
furnished with fulfillment.

I have been you. 
I still am, 
You wonder how you ended up here, enveloped in expectation and responsibility. 
It was stealthy. You didn’t need to be coerced, you were a willing participant. 
It made you smile. It still does, often. And yet…
When it’s quiet, and the demands of the day have been met, 
a small voice whispers: 
“What about me? 
I have more becoming to do… 
There are adventures out there I know nothing of as yet, today… 
but I can feel them, calling my tomorrow. 
I feel like there is a place for my presence there but 
I don’t know where There is nor how to weave it into my Here.”

Lack of fulfilment isn’t the absence of happiness. 
Happiness is a signpost to fulfilment 
but you need to follow the path and see where it leads.

Lack of fulfilment is the absence of magic. 
It is feeling certain your life has more to enchant you with if only you knew
 what spell to cast. It is feeling slightly less than whole,
 like the apple with a bite taken out of it. 
It is feeling the wind on your back 
yet not knowing how to spread your wings and soar.
I know you’re proud of the sacrifices you’ve made
 because of the impact they’ve had on the people you love.
Me too.

But I also know that you sometimes feel as if your spirit has been caged and 
you want the freedom to go after what’s missing… 
and that you carry the burden of guilt for feeling this way.
So many of us have been brought up to believe that thinking about ourselves and 
our own needs is selfish. 
Put other people first. 
Put yourself last. 
Everyone else’s needs are more important than your own.

I want you to know that your guilt is misplaced. 
What could be more important than how you feel? 
How you feel matters. 
Really, it does. 
You know why? 
Because how you feel is so closely intertwined with how you act… 
and how you act affects everyone in your world.

Acknowledge how you feel. Embrace it.
What advice would you give a close friend who felt this way? 
Be that friend to yourself, listen… 
and act on that advice.

I want you to know that there is no shame in feeling a little resentment when you find yourself tangled in the shallows while the river of time rushes on to the next bend and beyond. I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with wanting to craft a paddle to propel yourself back into the current.

You have as much right to float effortlessly downstream as anyone else. 
You might have heard the phrase, 
“You cannot pour from an empty cup”. 
The more you give to yourself, 
the more you have of yourself to give to others. 
Nourish your soul and you will feel rejuvenated. 
Nourish your spirit and your capacity for nurturing others will expand without leaving you feeling depleted.
 This is win-win. 
How can this possibly be selfish?
I urge you to have the courage to become more you. 
A caterpillar instinctively knows when the time has come to build its chrysalis 
and become a butterfly.

Trust that your time as a caterpillar is over. 
Give yourself permission to emerge from your cocoon and flex your beautiful wings. 
Where you choose to fly is up to you. 
You might want to explore the world. 
You might be content to get a bird’s eye view of your own back yard.

It’s not about where you go.

It is simply giving yourself the freedom to fly.

25 February 2019

#4 The Monday Letter

This monday letter is gonna be a long one! So grab your water or wine and get comfortable♥️
“Your outlook on life is a direct reflection on how much you like yourself.”  - Lululemon   
The thought of the week is self worth. over the last few days, I've received emails, bumped into old "teenhood" friends and spoken at a youth group and all the dilemmas or questions I was faced with pointed right back to valuing yourself and I've found myself giving everyone the same advice. You seek what you think you deserve, you dwell within what you think you're worth, you accept treatment that you think is enough. 
I get it, I was that girl. I subconsciously operated from a frequency that was beneath me because I didn't know better. I didn't know what self love, self awareness and self critic looked like, or the fact that seeking love, awareness and critic from people who didn't know themselves was soul wrenching, especially when I didn't know myself . I say this to highlight that  if you don't know who you are. the world will tell you and it won't tell you from a position that benefits you it will tell you from a position that comforts and affirms it's ways. 
                   SELF Esteem {noun}                                                               
                   confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.   
                   "assertiveness training for those with low self-esteem”                                                
                    Synonyms self-respect, self-regard, pride in oneself/one's abilities, 
                   faith in oneself,  pride, dignity, morale, self-confidence,                                             
                    self-assurance, assurance. 

Growth within is a process that only happens when you consciously bring your baggage to the floor, sit down and go through the bag dealing with each issue one by one, patiently and mercifully. Its long, its not linear and its hard but its worth it because when you know better you do better. Be your own best advocate, speak up when you're being treated in ways that add shade to your light. Speak up when people around you are dimming theirs, learn too speak up when your gut instinct tells you to and sit back when it tells you to. Be silent when you need to be listen, heal and reconnect with your instinct. Trust yourself.    

It’s funny once you start looking back on your life and seeing all the trials and tribulations you’ve been through and how you ended up being the person you are today. You really understand that everything that happened had to happen because the journey matters more than the destination, simply because the journey adds value to the destination. Your purpose gets found and you get moulded for your purpose during the journey.  Everyone has their truth, their story, their wounds. We've all gone through stuff and are going through stuff {don't let the internet's highlight reel fool you} your story may be different and you may often wonder how you survived it all , you wish someone would rescue your, you wish you could just give up and  give in by just saying you are the way you are because of what went into your marinade and it is what it is. But you've got to be willing to get back up! no matter how many times you get knocked down. Have courage especially when it's hard to see past the foggy pain.  

A lot of us look at ourselves and see someone who made mistakes, who made bad choices, who can’t manage our workload, relationships, career, finances or find true love. We see our friends being more successful and feel less than, we see how our parents raised us and question why they couldn't have done it another way, Well stop it! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! You are not solely made up of the things that have happened to you or where you stand at this very moment.  Apart of your marinade is a mixture of how each of these relationships have affected and become a part of you, everything that has gone into your marinade to create you has made you even more precious.  I was once told that “The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the radiance of it will never appear.” A diamond doesn't start out polished and shining. They start as simple rocks, but with enough pressure and time, become spectacular. Your worth will always increase when you open yourself up to inner growth.

Understand that even while you're on the rollercoaster, you still have value. Understand that no one can give you confidence in your worth or your abilities, they just add onto the solid foundation thats already there and that your level of self respect sets the tone for the level respect you receive outside of yourself.

I know *sigh* How do you know this Lydia? Because I was once that sad, doubtful girl who was brought to her knees through hardship, tired of being let down, losing people, being hurt by people and constantly feeling like I'd like a reboot button on life. My self-esteem was at its breaking point and if i'm honest on some days, I still see glimpses of that same girl in myself, which is ok because healing is a continuous process. 
The difference between me at that point in my life and me now is that I've trained the inner voice that used to tell me just give up to now only tell me to keep going, you can too. Despite what anyone says or doesn't say. Despite  people's presence or absence in your life, You can have your own back first and foremost. Creating a healthy foundation for you to pour love into the people you love. The choice became YOURS and yours alone, . The choice to get up, do something and be whatever it is you hold deep in your heart, thats yours when you take your worth out of the hands of others. 

                       So take a look in the mirror and repeat after me 


                                        From this heart to yours,

                                                                       I love you!

                                                                                 Lydia Gratis x

11 February 2019

#3 The Monday Letter.

We're in february and I'm still plotting my 2019, the year started on the feb 1st for me! yes, yes. I know, I see you smirking thats either cos you relate or I don't know lol. but this is a safe space right? a judgement free zone. 

People keep saying "new year new me" but I've come into 2019 with the "new year, more me" mindset. I've watered myself down way too many times in the past, than I'd like to admit, but this year is going to be different. This is the year where I'm like this is me unapologetic, shameless and free in all my glory. 
If you like it, you like it. If you don't then it doesn't matter because someone else will.  

Over the years I've had people tell me "We need people like you, people like you-need YOU!" and I'm finally starting to believe that. I've had to unlearn things and understand that putting yourself out there with love and confidence, doesn't make you any less humble and feeling fear doesn't make you any less courageous. You are you and the world needs something from you wether you realise what that is now or later. I hope it brings you satisfaction. 

So I'm setting up the foundation for what's about to become, showing you all things Lydia and All things Chronicles Of A Blossom. Learning to document and not just create because the journey is just as beautiful as the destination with all its hills and valleys. Your growth depends on your understanding of who you are, where you're coming from and where you're going. Self-awareness is the beginning of self-evolution, You can't begin your journey without knowing your current location and having a plan to get to your destination. Look within yourself, look at the greatness inside of you, become aware of the things that can hold you back and the things that propel you forward. Use that knowledge to refine your faults & better your strengths.

Goal setting begins with vision, you must be able to SEE who you were called you to be, this allows you to move towards baring the fruits within you and not just accomplishing goals, it lessens your chances of feeling depleted because the bigger picture is there in all its glory, regardless of how the long or how challenging the puzzle is to complete.

Regardless of your circumstances, develop an inner position of faith. See things that aren't as if they were until they become. putting your feelings aside and continuously doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment. Turn struggles into strengths. Pain into passion and flourish.

From this heart to yours,
I love you🤟

Lydia Gratis