Which leads me to my theory that most people don't know how to be alone, or how to be happy with their solitude. Up until last year I was one of those people.
The one thing I've learnt in the past 4 years, and I'm still learning is to never solely depend on any one because people can be with you today but gone tomorrow regardless of whether its their choice or not. Loneliness is sometimes needed to grow.
"I think I'm learning that sometimes the bravest thing is not to face the world, but to turn away from it" - Charlotte Erikson.Its like a detox. The first while is the hardest but as you begin to adjust and become one with your thoughts gaining clarity about yourself, other people become extras rather than the stars of your show, your life story.
It takes so much courage to be honest and authentic with yourself in all aspects of life. Everyone's aloneness breeds an entirely new and different discovery... And here I’m certainly not advocating that we should all turn into cavemen/women and hibernate. What I'm saying is get to know yourself entirely, acknowledge your story and grow, without outside influence. "Sometimes reflections are only visible in the presence of absence" - Michael Carini
There is an old African proverb that says "when there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you". I strongly believe that once you really know who you are, that is when you have learnt to climb the mountain so you can see the world. not so the world can see you.
Solitude does not necessarily mean loneliness, Its the positive state we all need to reflect, to create, to imagine and best of all to enjoy the beauty of our own nature in peace and silence. Its only when we silence the echo of the world that we can hear better the little voice within. Its okay to be alone, if you cant enjoy being with yourself, why should anyone else?. After all, you're suppose to build a home where there is a foundation, not wherever you decide.
Being able to be alone is how you beat loneliness. Inability to do so is when you lose. Don't allow (the choice is yours after all) your own inner demons to lead you towards repeating history, its rarely a happy subject. They say charity begins at home, Don't ever forget, you are your first home...
Be able to wake up on a day where you have no places to be and make the decision to take yourself out. Rise and shine. Look presentable, for you. Take yourself to a cafe, order your favourite beverage and read a book then go to your favourite place be it a restaurant by the sea side to watch the sunset or an art museum. You'll find bliss in the ability to be okay with that rather than starting your day miserable because you simply cannot find someone available to explore the things you love. I'm a strong believer that words, emotions and vibes have a boomerang effect. What you put into the world is also what you get back.
I believe in personal growth. Its in solitude that we discover things really are not as terrible as they feel. Its in solitude that we de-clutter.
"When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you".