11 February 2019

#3 The Monday Letter.

We're in february and I'm still plotting my 2019, the year started on the feb 1st for me! yes, yes. I know, I see you smirking thats either cos you relate or I don't know lol. but this is a safe space right? a judgement free zone. 

People keep saying "new year new me" but I've come into 2019 with the "new year, more me" mindset. I've watered myself down way too many times in the past, than I'd like to admit, but this year is going to be different. This is the year where I'm like this is me unapologetic, shameless and free in all my glory. 
If you like it, you like it. If you don't then it doesn't matter because someone else will.  

Over the years I've had people tell me "We need people like you, people like you-need YOU!" and I'm finally starting to believe that. I've had to unlearn things and understand that putting yourself out there with love and confidence, doesn't make you any less humble and feeling fear doesn't make you any less courageous. You are you and the world needs something from you wether you realise what that is now or later. I hope it brings you satisfaction. 

So I'm setting up the foundation for what's about to become, showing you all things Lydia and All things Chronicles Of A Blossom. Learning to document and not just create because the journey is just as beautiful as the destination with all its hills and valleys. Your growth depends on your understanding of who you are, where you're coming from and where you're going. Self-awareness is the beginning of self-evolution, You can't begin your journey without knowing your current location and having a plan to get to your destination. Look within yourself, look at the greatness inside of you, become aware of the things that can hold you back and the things that propel you forward. Use that knowledge to refine your faults & better your strengths.

Goal setting begins with vision, you must be able to SEE who you were called you to be, this allows you to move towards baring the fruits within you and not just accomplishing goals, it lessens your chances of feeling depleted because the bigger picture is there in all its glory, regardless of how the long or how challenging the puzzle is to complete.

Regardless of your circumstances, develop an inner position of faith. See things that aren't as if they were until they become. putting your feelings aside and continuously doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment. Turn struggles into strengths. Pain into passion and flourish.

From this heart to yours,
I love you🤟

Lydia Gratis  

4 February 2019

#2 The Monday Letter.

I think I'm a creature of habit without discipline LOL!
no, I'm serious. I've always said I wanted to be in the army so I could have a tough man/woman yell at me until my behaviour became patterned and disciplined or how I wish I had a manager to help me manage my existence lmao! 
Come-on, You can't tell me its just me. 
I'll have ten things to do and they'll all overwhelm me before I begin. 
Being so ambitious is hard on the days that you don't have the mental capacity.

We're on the second letter of the year, which should quite frankly be the third but I cant come and kill myself. I'm not even judging myself any more, I promised myself I'd be real and raw. I've been an optimistic person my whole life, even during the storms i'm smiling and hoping for the best. Faithing it til I make it as I like to call it. But I'm starting to realise I'm meant to be faithing it while I make it, "It" being life.  

I'm slowly learning how to unattached my desires, goals and visions to my age and just work towards serving others with my passions as thats where my purposes lays. Putting an age on my aspirations has hurt me a lot and I'm the only one who can change the frequency I operate on understanding that emotions are energy. Energy has to move, stuck emotions cause stress, which is the emotions asking you to meet yourself half way, know the why so they can make their way along. I've done a lot of learning and unlearning. One thing I've learnt is to be intentional about my desires and work towards them with a plan but not an age limit. We live in a day and age where everything is online and everything is infront of us, EVERYTHING. So we start to compete or compare where we really shouldn't. Creating a false illusion of our failure in our minds.

Sometimes the only thing wrong with you is the belief that something is wrong with you. I stopped suppressing my feelings and listening to people tell me "Its not that deep" when I began to understand that my healing journey began when I allowed myself to feel freely no matter how messy. Don't ever be afraid to be "too" anything because of what others say, wether thats "too emotional" , "too vulnerable" , "too sensitive", "too caring" , "too open" or even "too honest", you're enough for the very people meant to journey with you and you'll help them grow out of their self suppression by standing strong in your freedom. You'll meet people who will believe the things you worried about are actually the greatest things about you. 

You may not see it today but one day you'll look back and be in awe by how every little thing added up and brought you somewhere incredible. Make do with what you have, inspire where you are and blossom where you're planted.  Beyond where you envisioned yourself being and you'll be so grateful things didn't workout the way you wanted them to, exactly when you wanted them to. Forgive yourself for taking routes that were never meant for you and accepting less than you deserved and  intentionally love yourself. You need to start thinking like you're blessed, talking like you're blessed and acting like you're blessed. Thats how your blessings get activated. Taking care of yourself genuinely requires work and the ability to balance all aspects of your life in a manner that serves you best.

I say this to myself as much as I do to all of you. Practice intentional self care, 
make self love your ritual. A daily ritual is a commitment. It is a promise to both yourself and your work. It is a way of honouring what you do, a way of saying, “I value myself, my purpose is important to me.”

From this heart to yours, I love YOU!

Lydia Gratis 

21 January 2019

#1 The Monday Letter.

Oh, Hi there, long time no talk! How are you guys doing? 
I pray that 2019 is treating you with so much love and light, this is indeed the year for the turn around, right? The glow up? The come up!

Well I don’t know about you guys, but,
I know that this year will certainly serve as a testament of God’s ability to take me all the way up. I won’t get into crazy details right now (don’t worry we’ll really get to the nitty gritty specifics/lessons later), but 2018 was not my best. 
If I’m being honest, I cried more last year than I think I ever have in my life — and I’m a crier! LOL! 

Its wild how even when you know the plans God has for you, even though you know your best days are ahead of you and even when blessings rain down on you. You can still feel so overwhelmed in the present and tears still fall. I called 2012-2017 my healing years and if I’m honest 2018 felt like a test on all my life lessons. 
It had me asking from start to end, 
“Do I accept this”, 
“Am I right in rejecting that,” 
“Could I be a little more free” , 
“What are my toxic traits?” 
“Am I keeping emotionally intelligent people around me” ,
“How do I serve others better”,
& “ What am I so scared of?” ,
 It was a whole rollercoaster and my faith was tested!! But my growth was so apparent.

A lot of people have asked me, “Why aren’t you posting?”. “Why aren’t you writing?”  Why aren’t you sharing?" , "Is everything ok?" , “Where have you been?” “ Have you given up on your blog”  & My answer wasn’t simply “I don’t feel like it.

I spent the end of 2017 and all of 2018 feeling like I didn’t want to be seen but sad that I wasn’t seen and then humbled by those who did see me. Complex, I know. 
It was a whole process of not wanting to be vulnerable because vulnerability didn’t feel safe for me anymore. The journey was to figure out why, which I did and I’m so glad. 

Now I will say that my entire time away hasn’t just been unexplainable tears and sadness. 
So many amazing things happened and so much gratitude was felt. I learnt to stand in my truth, knowing that 
                "your truth won't sound good to every ear, your truth wont fit in well in every heart, your truth wont taste sweet on every tongue, but its still your truth, and no one can take that away from you" - Iambrillyant

We’re in a new year though and my souls been wanting to come back to COAB and reconnect with you guys. Despite my whole 15 months of unexplained silence I appreciate all 21,120 visits you guys have paid to my little corner of the web. I'm back and I figured I've gotta start somewhere with commitment, consistency and conversation. Which brings us to "The Monday Letter". The monday letter is gonna be a weekly {yep a challenge for your girl!} review on all things Lydia, my thoughts, my questions, my epiphanies, adventures, love and life. 
So if you’ve messaged me and asked “@LydiaGratis where have you been??” I hope this comes even close to answering your questions and serves as a reminder that  Sometimes self care looks like unapologetically listening to your soul, taking time out to cater to the desires of your heart and keeping people on the same frequency as you around because, theres a blessing in knowing people who hear your silence, thats your tribe. 
Keep them near, count your blessings, soul care and in oceans deep your faith will stand.

I’m back and it’s so good to be with you  all again.
Heres a toast to consistency, growth, gratitude and self care.

From this heart to yours, I love you

Lydia Gratis