The Sunday Letter.

Oh, Hi there, long time no talk! How are you guys doing? 
I pray that 2019 is treating you with so much love and light, this is indeed the year for the turn around, right? The glow up? The come up!

Well I don’t know about you guys, but,
I know that this year will certainly serve as a testament of God’s ability to take me all the way up. I won’t get into crazy details right now (don’t worry we’ll really get to the nitty gritty specifics/lessons later), but 2018 was not my best. 
If I’m being honest, I cried more last year than I think I ever have in my life — and I’m a crier! LOL! 

Its wild how even when you know the plans God has for you, even though you know your best days are ahead of you and even when blessings rain down on you. You can still feel so overwhelmed in the present and tears still fall. I called 2012-2017 my healing years and if I’m honest 2018 felt like a test on all my life lessons. 
It had me asking from start to end, 
“Do I accept this”, 
“Am I right in rejecting that,” 
“Could I be a little more free” , 
“What are my toxic traits?” 
“Am I keeping emotionally intelligent people around me” ,
“How do I serve others better”,
& “ What am I so scared of?” ,
 It was a whole rollercoaster and my faith was tested!! But my growth was so apparent.

A lot of people have asked me, “Why aren’t you posting?”. “Why aren’t you writing?”  Why aren’t you sharing?" , "Is everything ok?" , “Where have you been?” “ Have you given up on your blog”  & My answer wasn’t simply “I don’t feel like it.

I spent the end of 2017 and all of 2018 feeling like I didn’t want to be seen but sad that I wasn’t seen and then humbled by those who did see me. Complex, I know. 
It was a whole process of not wanting to be vulnerable because vulnerability didn’t feel safe for me anymore. The journey was to figure out why, which I did and I’m so glad. 

Now I will say that my entire time away hasn’t just been unexplainable tears and sadness. 
So many amazing things happened & so much gratitude was felt. I learnt to stand in my truth, knowing that 
                "your truth won't sound good to every ear, your truth wont fit in well in every heart, your truth wont taste sweet on every tongue, but its still your truth, and no one can take that away from you" - Iambrillyant

We’re in a new year though and my souls been wanting to come back to COAB and reconnect with you guys. Despite my whole 15 months of unexplained silence I appreciate all 21,250 visits you guys have paid to my little corner of the web. I'm back and I figured I've gotta start somewhere with commitment, consistency and conversation. Which brings us to "The Sunday Letter". The sunday letter is gonna be a weekly{yes a challenge guys!} review on all things Lydia, my thoughts, my questions, my epiphanies, adventures, love and life. 
So if you’ve messaged me and asked “@LydiaGratis where have you been??” I hope this comes even close to answering your questions and serves as a reminder that  Sometimes self care looks like unapologetically listening to your soul, taking time out to cater to the desires of your heart and keeping people on the same frequency as you around because, theres a blessing in knowing people who hear your silence, thats your tribe. 
Keep them near, count your blessings, soul care and in oceans deep your faith will stand.

I’m back and it’s so good to be with you  all again.
Heres a toast to consistency, growth, gratitude and self care.

Leave a comment below and let me know what you’re grateful for today .

From this heart to yours, I love you

Lydia Gratis 


Note To Self.

To Me

Happy Birthday baby girl!
You've beaten the odds in so many ways.
I've watched you grow into the person I only imagined I would be.
Peeling each layer and getting to know yourself thoroughly,
analysing your marinade in small careful details,
slowly and gently pouring self love, like gold into the cracks the world created in you.

You have risen up despite your insecurities,
risen up despite your experiences,
risen inspite of the paths paved before you understood how to pave your own.
you've risen through each challenge you've faced from the day you were born,
you've risen so many times, I know you will rise up a thousand more
because of who you are.

" I love you "
I truly, deeply do,
younger you would have found that hard to say to herself,
she thought she was more broken than whole and
believed there was no way forward,
 but you showed her.
You showed her how to love herself and
 how to like her existence.
You showed her how to understand herself thoroughly within.
You taught her ,
taught her to have patience and fight for EVERYTHING she wants.
you taught her that she IS in control.
You taught her how to love others right 
to check herself when shes doing it wrong.
You taught her that there is value in ALWAYS leaving people better than you found them.
You taught her that the smile on her soul is just as significant 
as the smile on her face.
You taught her to be patient with toxic emotions 
and how to lead them into leaving her 
instead of leaving them to lead her.

Instead of being drawn into people's storms,
you've mastered pulling others into your peace with 
empathy and patience.
Grown to understand that you shouldn't expect
sunshine and clear skies from
You've inspire me, 
in so many ways.
On so many days.

So on this day, I want you to know,
You're a beautiful creation
and on any day you may find yourself thinking otherwise,
 I want you to always believe in your truth, your strength and your place on this earth.
affirm and push yourself to be better than you've ever been.
Bath in self love daily. 
You've come so far.
You've been told your whole life that you're destined for greatness
and sweet girl, 
here you are closer to your dreams, 
because of the very love you've nurtured for you,

From this heart to yours, I love you.
Lydia Gratis.

" You've got so much light, I bet the most beautiful flowers grow towards you " - unknown


Dear Son.

Dear future son,
When you’re born, you'll hear the words “Its a boy" and from that point onwards society will try to hand you this persona, gradually sweet talking you into wanting to be what it wants you to be, it'll try to mold you into this sugarcoated version of a physically strong, emotionally weak, big ego personality, then it'll tell you "that is how a "real man" behaves. 

Wisdom (Noun) The ability to use your own knowledge and experience to make good decisions and  judgements. 

Wisdom will teach you otherwise. It'll teach you to find yourself and become one with your soul,  physically AND spiritual strong, it'll teach the beauty of love, compassion and leadership. 
Before I even met your father I promised myself I’d marry a man who could show our son exactly how to be a man and let him be a boy when he needs to be. So when I look at you, I’ll see that promise fulfilled. I’m not worried about what society tells you for that very reason,  because I truly believe you will be surrounded by wisdom

There are five fundamental things I want you to always understand and those are,

1. No human is ever above or below you, equal and mutual respect is EVERYTHING! 
Treat the people who cant do anything for you exactly the way you treat the ones who can. 
Always leave people better than you found them.

2. Although having a strong character is what is expected from a boy,
 don't ever be afraid to show your true emotions when necessary, 
Communicating your fragility to the people who love you is a sign of strength NOT weakness.

3. Set objectives and outline the guidelines on how you will achieve those objectives. 
Then follow them one by one, meanwhile, remembering that being a man of your word 
brings blessings into your life, words are nothing unless they are followed by actions.

4. Don’t ever neglect family. Some will want to see you succeed and others wont want you to level up. Find a balance between the two and control it. Your only responsibility is to release good energy and love. 

5. Treat women with respect. Another soul resides in the very body you may temporarily desire and you recklessly using it wont ever set you free. A good woman is hard to find. She is worth far more than diamonds, you will trust her without reserve and never have reason to regret it. She is never spiteful and will always treat you generously. She will be wise and kind. She’ll make a house feel like a home. She will be your peace in a stressful world. Making you know in your core that you always have someone to lean on. Don't break others on your way to her and don't be deceived by those who aren't like her. She is the substance of things hoped for.

6. Last but not least, have patience, hope and faith, the best things usually come with them. No matter how long it takes or how many times you fall, gradually the things you desire will come to you. 
Too many people make mistakes when they’re too eager. They go for the first opportunity that presents itself, wether its in work or in their love life, patience  should always be one of the first things put forward. Learn to slow down and you’ll find yourself having better judgement regarding the things you are pursuing.

I look forward to teaching you even more of what my mum taught me, things I learnt alone and things I've learnt on my journey with your dad and from him. 
I look forward to watching you blossom with strong values regarding life, love, family, ambition and all the hurdles that come along the way.

Baby you are loved! 

Leave a comment below and tell me some things you'd tell your future son.

Hugs and love,

*Fathers Day Blog Post. 
*(+/- 680 words)